HER PERFECT DAY 08.30 Wake up in boyfriend's arms to hugs and kisses. 08.35 Step on scales and realise have lost 5 pounds. 09.00 Light breakfast. 10.00 30 mins aerobics in gym followed by refreshing sauna and beauty treatment. 12.00 See ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend in the street. Pleased to see that she has gained a few pounds. 12.30 Meet up with girlfriends in bistro. Salad lunch and spring water or lunch. Pleased to see that you leave the most on your plate. 13.00 Shopping. 18.00 Boyfriend meets you with flowers and takes you out for surprise dinner in a romantic restaurant. 21.30 Long, slow and tender love-making. 22.30 Whisper sweet nothings in each other's ears. 23.00 Drift off to sleep in boyfriend's arms. HIS PERFECT DAY 12.00 Wake up. 12.01 Oral sex. 12.05 Huge breakfast. 12.15 Oral sex. 12.30 Drive up the coast in a BMW with a girl with big tits. 12.45 Oral sex. 13.00 Massive lunch. 13.30 Football in the park with the boys. Score the winning goal with a 40 yard overhead scissor kick. 14-18.00 Get pissed with the boys. 19.00 Enormous dinner. 19.30-21 Watch sport on TV with the boys. No girls allowed. 21.30 Gigantic supper. 22-02 Clubbing with the boys. Snog girls younger than you are. 02.30 Mammoth kebab. 02 45 Stumble home to find girlfriend up waiting for you. 02.46 Full on, Get down, Gorilla sex 02.48 Fall asleep. 03.50 Oral sex.